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Annies Agony Aunt: Valentines Edition

Here at Annie's Agony Aunt Corner, we are not qualified to solve real problems, so we make our own. With a pack of cards against humanity cards, selected at random.


Written entirely for the purpose of humour.


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Dear Agony Aunt,


I’m feeling so deflated in my relationship at the moment. They used to surprise me and whisk me away for the first couple of years but now it's just the same old same, old routine. I mean where is the romance anymore?! I can't believe that this is what our relationship has come to! I want the romance again. I want to be whisked away on nights out and weekends away—nothing expensive just romantic and intimate. What I don’t want is our annual night of spaghetti. Again? What is so romantic about spaghetti? It’s Valentines day, not national spaghetti day!


From Jennifer Aniston



Dear Jennifer


I understand your frustration but have you ever thought about making spaghetti romantic? Instead of putting it all on them to be romantic, you could always try and create romance. Spaghetti has all the potential of romance if you let it. Disney’s Lady and the Trap is one of the most iconic romantic spaghetti scenes, so why not try something like that? Lady and Tramp it this Valentines day and the romance will just radiate in the room.


From Agony Aunt


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Dear Agony Aunt


This valentines day I will spend alone in bed because, yes, you guessed it my own aunt has come to stay! Or as I like to describe it, the inevitable heat, death of the universe. That is exactly what it feels like. The excruciating pain in my stomach and the fluctuating hormones is just too much to handle and on valentines day! How is that fair?! I should have been out having fun, dancing, and meeting new people but no, I’m stuck in bed. Help me!!


From Oprah


Dear Oprah


I get it. It sucks! Especially on valentines day but maybe instead of seeing this as annoying and ruining the day why don't you turn it into a pamper night? It sounds like at this time you need self-care and valentines day doesn’t always mean you have to be out having a good time, the day is about love so love yourself. Get a hot water bottle and some chocolate, and put on a movie that makes you feel good. Grab yourself a face mask and some of your favourite snacks and just relax. Too much pressure is put on people on this day but just remember it is about love.


From Agony Aunt


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Dear Agony Aunt


I missed my appointment and I don't know what to do. I have canceled too many times recently because the Whos keep bothering me because apparently they ‘love me’. It gets even worse on Valentines day, you think they are crazy at Christmas but you haven't seen these lovey-dovey Whos on Valentines day. It is disgusting! All because of their obsession with love and loving each other, I have now missed my appointment for self-loathing and I really enjoy these appointments. I’m so angry!


From The Grinch


Dear Mr Grinch


I think they are just trying to show you how much they love you. You have come a long way since the times when you hated them so I think they are trying to show their appreciation for everything you have done for them and show you how much you mean. But if your appointments are really important to you then you need to talk to them about it. Good communication is key in any kind of relationship so maybe you need to sit them down and just talk to them, tell them how you feel, and explain that your self-loathing appointments are necessary for you. I hope this helps.


From Agony Aunt


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